Let’s Be Nice and Smart

It’s amazing the T shirts you see these days states our guest blogger, Bruce Winter. Emblazoned sometimes with witty words, they send a message to the world. And they send a message as well about the person who’s brave enough (or sometimes stupid enough) to wear it.

There’s the one that says in bold letters: “He who dies with the most toys, wins!” When you see that, you know the wearer isn’t the reflective type. They don’t go to many funerals. Much better is the one that says: “He who dies with the most toys … dies.” At least that’s starkly realistic! Even Biblical.

In fact, exactly the kind of T shirt the writer of Ecclesiastes might have worn (see Chapter 3), or even Jesus (Mark 8:36).

I saw one the other day that said: “I’ll try to be nicer, if you try to be smarter.” I couldn’t help laughing (under my breath – the bloke wearing it was a big, ‘punch ya lights out kinda guy’) and thinking (quietly to myself) – “this bloke needs to see a psychologist to sort out his insecurity complex.” Something’s not quite right when you need to tell the world you’re smart.

But in any case, his T shirt was interesting. And it sparked a thought in my mind about the shabby way we sometimes treat each other as Christians. We need to be nicer!

And that starts I think with the other bit on his shirt – by being a bit smarter. A bit smarter about the way we speak about each other; a bit smarter about things like encouragement and holding your tongue.

Maybe what started it all was this. I was having a meal with some friends a day or two before, when a fellow muncher began to bag out another Christian over some petty thing. Something so inconsequential, I can’t even remember what it was! But someone there was very wise. And she nipped the bagging in the bud, graciously and strongly.

And after the shame settled (why didn’t I say something?) I was left thinking: ‘Why is it that we focus on the one petty thing and fail to see the hundred acts of kindness?'

That’s really twisted when you think about it. Why do we do that? And the answer of course is we’re inconsistent and sinful. We don’t live out perfectly what we profess. We don’t stop to think.

So our quick response sidesteps the brain altogether and flicks instead to self promotion. And a motive that runs something like this: ‘I feel better about myself, when I put others down.’

It’s an unstated thought, but it says something loud and sad about the person wearing it - oddly enough the same thing as that T shirt: insecure.

And that’s a crazy notion for any believer, when we’re wonderfully secure in the family of God because of the death and resurrection of Jesus. And when the person we put down bears the image of God just as much as anyone else.

This ugly way of operating is nothing new. In his letter to faltering Christians just like us, James expresses that same frustration and sees the same paradox:

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. (James 3:9-10)

In the end our readiness to put others down is a failure to think with a Biblical mind. It’s to see them as a rival instead of a brother; a brother (or sister) undeserving and imperfect like you, who mostly needs to be built up and encouraged.

And it’s a failure to understand the sacrifice of Christ which showers us with worth and forgiveness and every other blessing.

 So here’s the rub: if our worth comes wonderfully from Christ (and it does) then we don’t need to put others down to feel better about ourselves. We don’t need acclaim for what we can do. Fixing our self esteem in Christ frees us up to be content with the person God has made us to be, so we can focus instead on the needs of others.

Let’s do better than the T shirt. Let’s be nicer by being smarter about the way we understand and live out the Gospel.

Bruce Winter is an elder of Coffs Harbour Presbyterian Church.